How much do we think tolerance to frustration impacts our lives? Although it seems that it is linked to a result, it has an influence from the beginning, in the attitude with which we predispose ourselves.
Is it the same to start a project and be discouraged by any difficulty because it does not work out the way we want to start it and accept that there are difficulties and learn from them? Undoubtedly not, but we seldom become aware of it. Tolerance for frustration is part of learning.
What is Frustration Tolerance?
Tolerance to frustration is related to the ability to know how to manage our emotions in the face of an event that does not turn out as we imagine. In other words, when we fail to meet our expectations, frustration may appear.
People who have a low tolerance for frustration are very demanding, especially of themselves. But also with the rest. In turn, they tend to be rigid, with little ability to adapt. They are usually left with the bitter taste of what has not been achieved.
On the other hand, low tolerance for frustration can cause difficulties at the interpersonal level, both in work relationships, family relationships or friendship. This happens because the person is unable to control the discomfort he feels when he is dissatisfied. They often blame others for hindering their mission.
In what ways can frustration tolerance be achieved?
Some recommended strategies for developing tolerance for frustration include the following.
Set realistic goals – If every time we propose to carry out something we are unable to think of scenarios and resources that are within our reach, it is likely that we will get frustrated in advance, because the task is immeasurable. It is not about mediocrity or conforming, but about being fair to ourselves and adjusting to what we are capable of achieving at any given time.
Analyze the situation – All situations have something to teach us. A necessary step in learning to get out of frustration has to do with assessing strengths and weaknesses to better prepare ourselves.
On the other hand, it is also facilitating the fact of recognizing that there are multiple ways to reach the same result. Sometimes it can be useful to incorporate the point of view of others to get out of your own blockage.
Learn to manage emotions – Frustration is expressed through emotions; sometimes anger and irritation, sometimes discouragement, sometimes blocking. Therefore, when faced with an event, it is important to learn to identify what we are feeling.
We have to accept that it is part of the process, but then not stay with the emotion, but process it. In this way, we can not only feel better, but also obtain learning.
Benefits of Tolerating Frustration
Learning to tolerate frustration will allow us to better cope with challenging and difficult situations. That is why it has numerous benefits, among which we find the following.
1. Prepares us for any scenario
Life is not a bed of roses; sometimes things work out well and sometimes they don’t. Therefore, we could say that frustration is a potential result of whatever we undertake.
That does not mean that we should be discouraged, but rather keep in mind that difficulties are part of everything. In this way, we avoid the permanent fear of fear of failure.
2. Guides us to find solutions
People who learn to develop tolerance for frustration do not linger on the bitter taste of the result, but instead manage to turn that discomfort into resilience. They have a proactive role in finding solutions.
3. Helps develop patience
As opposed to the impatience of those who fall more easily before frustration, those who learn to live with it understand that there are rhythms and times that cannot always be managed. So, by recognizing that they are not in control over many aspects, they also understand that you have to know how to wait.
4. Better self-esteem
Those who learn to tolerate frustration are not the target of their own criticism. That is, they can differentiate to what extent they are responsible for a situation and seek improvement in it, but they do not blame themselves for everything.
In this sense, by separating responsibility and guilt, the emotional tone also changes. Of course, this has an impact on self-esteem, since a person who blames himself for everything will end up feeling incapable of carrying out any project or task. The coping strategies make a difference to try again.
Recommended Activities to Build Frustration Tolerance
Tolerance to frustration is learned and exercised, so it is always possible to carry out different activities to develop it. Among them we can find the following.
Managing emotions
As we mentioned, in frustration there is a complex emotional world whose knowledge and management is important so as not to feel overwhelmed or overwhelmed. However, with the rhythm of everyday life, most people do not spend enough time thinking about how they feel or how certain events affect them.
In many cases, to learn to identify and manage emotions it is recommended to use a journal. Through this, emotions are recorded and then analyzed depending on the situation. Was it appropriate to react like this? Could I have done it differently?
Learn to relax
Hand in hand with the previous point, learning to manage emotions has to do with maintaining or finding calm in those moments that are difficult for us. For example, through breathing exercises we can clear our mind to take the next step.
Analyze our thoughts and behaviors
This is usually a technique that is taught during cognitive therapy. Distinguishing the thoughts that arise in a situation and how they affect our next act is the key.
Thus, it is possible to show how the person is involved in a loop that increases frustration, discomfort and anxiety. The goal is to build alternative thoughts or scenarios to deal with situations in a different way.
Frustration is everywhere
Frustration goes hand in hand with motivation; that is why it is very important to learn to handle it. If our goals are always unachievable and expectations are unrealistic, we may never be satisfied and feel frustrated.
In addition, it is necessary to understand that when we speak of frustration it is not about great feats, but it is present in small and everyday matters. Both failing an exam and missing the meter can trigger discomfort.
The importance of learning to live with frustration should not be minimized, since beyond the effects in specific situations, its continuous presence has consequences on mental health.
The consumer and successful society accustoms us to the fact that all rewards must be immediate. However, there are limitations of life that do not make it possible. We must learn to value effort over results.
